Leave the Worrying to the Professionals
and Live Your Lives

Laurel Speer

“Leave the worrying to professionals,
and live your lives.”

— Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City

This is the best advice I heard all week.
Have faith in that moron who looks like an air-brushed Alfred E. Newman?
Why not, when he knows he’s been appointed
by a higher power.
How else could he be sitting in the white palace
with a little help from Florida and friends at court?
Not to worry.
George leads!
And his team: Cheney, Ashcroft, Rummy, Condo, Colin, et. al.?
These guys spent their whole lives on self-aggrandizement.
These guys know how to keep the good times rolling.
So have faith.
If your life feels like the bottom of a shit pit,
don't worry. The guys in charge have a lock
on local sewage contracts,
so maybe you should go on ebay and buy some thigh-high
rubber ducky boots.
Otherwise get fucked,
but don’t worry.
Here’s a coffee can for your needs
when the plumbing gets backed up and floods
the lino.